Blind
by wirenoose
Summary: Mello was left with a much better reminder of his mistake than the scar.


Totally Mello/Matt, again, I am trash. Besides, I really like the idea that the explosion took Mello's sight, it seems a bitter irony.

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note**

* * *

Matt held his breath as he wound the bandages, waiting for Mello to stir.

Mello's skin was still burned pretty badly, but it was healing up without infection and that was really all Matt could hope for at that point.

Taping the bandage in place, he sat back and nodded at his handy work. He'd had to watch a few videos and read a few wiki pages but he'd gotten pretty good at bandaging.

He couldn't help but smile.

He and Mello had been playing by the massive tree in the Wammy's House yard, climbing and racing to the top. Mello had gotten there first and Matt had hurried to catch up. His foot slipped and Mello tried to grab hold of his arm, and he did, but he only managed to slow the fall.

In the end, Matt had ended up with a cut on his head and had to wear a bandage for a week or so while it healed. Mello had made fun of him for it, making up all kinds of stupid jokes that had been funny in their nine year old minds.

"Not so funny now is it Mells?" he asked quietly, reaching for more gauze and bandages for Mello's torso.

When he was completely done, Matt got up, rolling out the kinks in his back that developed when he was hunched over Mello. The red head made his way to the bathroom to wash off the blood and antiseptic from his hands.

After, he made his way to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee.

Lord knows he'd need it when Mello woke up.

Mello had been unconscious since Matt had dragged him from the warehouse. He'd only drifted into consciousness a few times, to cuss out Near and Kira and everyone in between, including Matt himself. But then he'd passed out again.

Matt cleared away all the empty bandage packages from the table, dumping them into the garbage. He pulled out his PSP and gave Mello another glance. He wasn't sure if Mello would want coffee when he woke up but he knew that he'd want chocolate, so there were five bars stacked up within arm's reach.

"Just wake up soon okay, Mells?"

Matt couldn't help it and kissed Mello's unburned cheek before settling in for a long night.

* * *

Mello smelled hot chocolate, that's what woke him up and it kept his focus from the blistering pain in his face and chest.

He tried to talk, to ask why the lights were out but he only produced a small moan.

"Hey, Mells, easy there. I'll help you up."

Mello would know Matt's voice anywhere.

"What happened?" Mello asked, wincing as Matt helped him sit up, propping a pillow against his side.

"The blast from the explosion knocked you out and you've got some awesome scarring going on," Matt said.

Mello gently prodded his face to feel the bandages covering his face and his eyes. So that's why he couldn't see anything.

"I smelled hot chocolate," he rasped, not sure what else to say.

"Something told me to make some, maybe it was that God of yours of something, telling me you'd wake up today," Matt chuckled from the kitchen.

"Yeah, maybe," Mello said quietly, feeling around for his rosary, finding a chocolate bar instead. He eagerly tore it open, taking a bit but wincing as he stretched his cheek.

"Slow down Mells, try not to move so much, you're all kinds of beat up right now," Matt fitted his hands to a small mug and hovered his own about Mello's just in case the blond dropped it.

Mello seemed to sense what Matt was doing and swatted his hands away.

"I don't need your help, Matt," he said sharply, almost sloshing the drink out of the mug and onto his already damaged skin.

"Just being considerate," Matt backed off and silently moved the coffee table closer when Mello tried to set the cup down.

"I've got some pain killers but I didn't know if you were gonna be all macho and refuse them," Matt grinned, digging the bottle from a pocket of his discarded vest.

"Of course I want them, I'm proud, not stupid."

Mello held out his hand, presumably for the bottle and Matt gave it to him, curious.

Mello got the top off easily enough but then he paused. After a couple of seconds, he tilted it carefully and slowly put the excess pills back in the bottle. He didn't wait for water, or try to reach for the mug, and gulped the pills dry, grimacing at the taste and feeling around for chocolate.

"You gonna be okay, Mells? I mean, those bandages won't be coming off for a while."

"Why is it so cold?" Mello asked, avoiding Matt's question.

"You're not wearing a shirt."

Matt jumped back, anticipating the punch Mello would throw at him.

"Pervert," Mello muttered.

" _Your_ pervert," Matt reminded him.

As the weeks passed, Matt learned to tiptoe around Mello and his inability to see. Mello had learned the layout of Matt's apartment but things still moved and Matt had to plant things like easter eggs for Mello to find.

The chocolate for one, his rosary for two.

No to mention letting Mello count out his pain meds on his own.

Mello stumbled over all the cords and wires that crisscrossed Matt's floor so he tried to keep the blond as close as possible, to catch him when he tripped, even if it did get him a frustrated punch in the shoulder.

Finally, Matt deemed the bandages ready to come off.

It seemed to take an eternity to unwind all the bandages and Matt chose to start with Mello's torso first, anticipating the worst for Mello's face. The scarring went over his eye after all.

"Hurry up, Matt," Mello was practically shaking as Matt undid the clasps at the back of Mello's head.

But Matt was crying, hands shaking as he began to undo the bandages.

"Are you crying?" Mello listened for the sounds of sniffles but heard nothing, Matt was a silent crier, always had been.

Mello lifted a hand to Matt's face, feeling the tears running down his cheek.

"What are you so worried about, Matty," he asked, genuinely confused at Matt's behavior, "I'm the one that got blown up, remember? If anyone should be worried, I should."

He felt around for Matt's hand and gently interlaced their fingers.

"Come on, time for the big reveal."

Matt mumbled an 'okay', and finished unwinding the first layer of bandages.

Mello's eyes were closed when he pulled away the final layer of wrappings and Matt took a moment to touch the scar. Mello's skin was twisted, warped into angry scarring that disappeared down his neck and to his shoulder.

"Does it look cool?" Mello asked, eyes still closed.

"Yeah."

"Lead me to the bathroom? I want to see it when I open my eyes."

Matt stayed on Mello's tail as the blond felt along the walls, bare feet keeping him from stumbling so much.

Once in front of the mirror, Mello opened his bright blue eyes.

And he saw nothing.

"Matt, this isn't funny."

"I'm not doing anything."

"I'm serious Matt!"

Mello was starting to sound hysteric, feeling around for Matt, curling his fingers into his striped shirt.

"What's wrong?" Matt asked, fearing the worst.

"I can't see anything damn it! Nothing! Matt, don't you get it? I'm fucking blind!"

Mello's face was the epitome of panic and Matt wrapped him in a hug as the blond broke down. He'd thought that Mello would lose site in his burned eye, he'd not anticipated him losing both.

"Matt, Matty, what am I gonna do? I can't see! How the hell do I beat Near now? That stupid little albino brat is gonna catch Kira! Matt, are you even listening?"

Mello tried beating his way out of the vice grip but Matt wouldn't budge, holding tight enough to spark a dull ache in Mello's burned torso.

"I'm listening, Mells, I'm listening," he said softly.

"Then how the fuck are you so calm? I can't do anything now! How can I be L if I can't see? How can I beat Near? Matt! Fucking answer me, damn it!"

Mello was shaking, sobbing, breaking, and all Matt could do was hold him tighter.

His Mello. His Mello was blind, unseeing. The proud, ever vain Mello was blind.

There were a lot of attributes that came to mind when one thought about Mello but blind was not one of them. It seemed almost unreal and Matt would be lying if he said he didn't think it would happen. He never told Mello that. But it was unfair. After all that Mello had done, he'd poured his heart and soul into being L, only to have that ripped away when the man died. He'd redoubled his efforts then, and lost his sight.

* * *

"Mells?"

It had taken over an hour for Matt to get Mello to calm down and to sit him down on the couch with a chocolate bar.

"What, Matty?" Mello sat in a moping heap on the far end of the couch, away from Matt and curled up as tight as he could without it hurting.

"You shouldn't focus on the things you can't do anymore because there are plenty of things that you _can_ do."

"And what _can_ I do, Matt?" the emotion had drained out of his voice.

"You can stay here, with me, safe. That's not so bad, is it?" Matt suggested quietly.

Mello didn't respond, just closed his eyes and presumably went to sleep.

A few hours later, Matt was slipping on his vest and grabbing his keys.

"I don't know if you're awake or if you're just ignore me, Mells, but I'm gonna go the store for a few things, don't do anything stupid, okay? For me at least?"

He got no response.

With a sigh, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the corner of Mello's lips, placing another on his forehead before leaving.

When Matt returned, he set the grocery bags on the table. Most of them were full of Mello's favorite foods.

But Mello was not where he left him.

Matt's revolver was on the coffee table, one bullet in the chamber. He felt his heart stop and his eyes widened behind his tinted goggles. He ran about, trying to find Mello.

He was in the bedroom, curled up around one of Matt's shirts and buried beneath the comforter.

The majority of the tension that had resided in Matt since that day went away. He kicked off his boots and tossed his vest and goggles on the floor before climbing into bed beside Mello. Gently pulling him to his chest, Matt wrapped his arms around him.

 _"Hey Mells?" Matt stood on the ladder of the bunk bed. Even with the pain pills the nurse had given him, his head still hurt and he didn't like sleeping with the bandage on his head._

 _"What is it, Matty?" Mello asked, voice laced heavily with sleep._

 _"Can I sleep with you? I think I might sleep easier if I do."_

 _"Yeah, sure, whatever, just hurry up, I'm tired," Mello lifted the covers just enough for Matt to worm in and snuggle into his friend._

 _"Thanks Mells."_

 _"Goodnight Matt," Mello threw an arm around him and snuggled closer, pressing a kiss over the bandage, "I'm sorry I didn't catch you."_

 _"It's alright, and you did catch me."_

 _"You still fell."_

 _"You stopped me from dying," Matt pointed out._

 _Mello just smirked before yawning._

 _"Guess that means you owe me one, huh? I'm counting on you to save my life someday," Mello joked._

 _"I guess it does," Matt whispered._

 _It was quiet again for a few minutes._

 _"Hey, Mells?" Matt asked again._

 _"Matty, I thought we were going to sleep," Mello mumbled, his arm was still around Matt and he didn't seem like he would be moving it any time soon._

 _"I just wanted to tell you something."_

 _"What?"_

 _"I'm gonna save your life someday, but you're really stubborn, and I think you'll be even more stubborn when we're older. So, if I'm gonna save your life, you're going to have to let me."_

 _"I'll be sure to do that Matt, now go to sleep."_


End file.
